My Clock of Gay is Ticking.

I call myself in a certain way. That being said, I talk in a certain way.

But I'm not, in any way, lesbian... so don't get too excited ladies.

See, I'm what represent the other side of this blog, which shall be nameless because for the last 25 years, I honestly don't know what I am yet.

So. Browsing through my year's planner, I found my bucket list which I wrote last January.

It is as follows:

1. Increase salary. (check)
2. Buy a PS3. (check)
3. Pay off credit card. (check. I have to put this up for next year too.)
4. Buy stuff from Zara. (check)
5. Get into a relationship.

...

...

Cue Laughter.

It's the one very permanent thing on my list, which obviously never resolved.

Ever.

See, I have a theory on gay dating - Which I shall now dub as Gayting.

Say there are 100 people. 50 men and 50 women. That's already 50% chance of getting your gender of choice.

In 50 men, more or less (by the advent of Brokeback Mountain, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Zach Efron, and some other gay media that turned straight men, gay [like vampires. more on that next time]) Half of which is probably gay.

So 25 gay men. Huh. And of course you don't see 25 gay men in one go. Give or take, the you'll get around 10 gay men.

Given that these 10 men have their individual idiosyncratic tendencies such as:

"Looking for straight looking, buff men for fun and pleasure."

"Hot sexy bottom here for manly top"

"No gays and effems please."

First, please let me point out the utter hypocrisy of the rainbow world as they try to find someone they can't be. This shall be expounded on soon.

Anyway.

In 10 gay men you might get around 3 people that may or may not like you, given their ideal mate.

#1 is already in a relationship.

#2 is probably dead inside and wants to have random sex.

#3 is for you. Smart. Not just smart - Your type of smart. He knows what you know and you can talk with him without ever stopping. He's not poor, so you don't have to worry paying for the date every single time. He dresses as well as you. He's not flamboyant, nor very colorful. Tasteful. And most importantly, time goes faster when you kiss him.

But #3 is 5'3" and has his own equator. Of course, you have your own idiosyncrasies.

Giving him up might not just be an idiosyncrasy but just plain idiotic. But since I'm a guy, I'm still admittedly shallow.

*cue feminist applause*

My clock of gay is ticking. I'm 25 and desperately single.

By the way, this is my introductory post.

Hello World.