Funny conversation. And international women's day.

Former student asked about my orientation, saying that he noticed I moved like a butch even if I look very feminine.

"Nope. She's not my partner. She's my ex."
"Oh? So you're bi?"
*Laughter*
"Nope. Totally gay."
*Laughter*


Must work on feminizing myself further. Although I love butches (can never find myself attracted to femmes), I don't want to look like them. Sometimes I wonder why this is so.

International Women's Day. Hm. Didn't celebrate it because I think at least half of the 365 days should be for women. Heh.

Hm. It's a small world after all.

Kung mag-Tagalog na lang kaya ako? Baka mas madaling maging anonymous.

Realized that the world of Filipino lesbians is so small. Turns out my friends personally know the lesbian bloggers am following.

There's also one project in the works where am required to come out.

Oh, wee! Look, Ma, can't invite you to my next project.

The thing about blogging anonymously...

Is that you sometimes get so confused, you might end up accidentally blowing your own cover.

I make sure that this blog and the blogs it follows are only viewed through Google Chrome. Unfortunately, nearly forgot that rule when one of my main blogs made it into the finals of a local awards giving body. One of the blogs Malditera follows happened to be my main blog's contender for the top spot.

Nearly commented on his/her blog through Mozilla and almost used my real username. Arrrrrr! Just wanted to congratulate the competitor, is all.

Then came the realization. Opened Malditera so I could have an outlet for the closet's repression but I end up getting more stressed as I:

• Carefully take note if any of my writings are similar to the ones that can be read on my more popular blogs.
• Use thesaurus.com to replace words that I frequently use in my main blogs.
• Make sure that the my main blogs never follow the same people Malditera does. They must be completely separate. But the blogosphere being small, one tends to forget which connection is connected to what identity. How the hell did Clark Kent manage this for years?
• Try to be cryptic but end up confusing myself further.
• Try to be as ungrammatical but poetic as e.e. cummings, but end up getting obsessive-compulsive over fragments and run-ons. Must admit, slapping my hands to keep myself from correcting my own grammar is rather disturbing.

Anonymity is an exercise in futility. For three reasons:

• The ex says that despite the thesaurus replacements, Malditera still sounds like me.
• onyourmach says the same thing.
• A very popular fashion blogger, who also happens to be a proud lesbian, accidentally outed me and the ex at a high profile event. Jejeje. To think, she never would've figured it out if she hadn't seen my ex.

So. Will still try to remain anonymous but will not try so hard anymore. It's exhausting.